Worry Worry Worry

So I am almost half way through this pregnancy; 18 weeks and counting. We will be finding out the gender in 1 week...!!! Needless to say I am quite excited. But with excitement comes worry.

I don't remember worrying this much when I was pregnant with our lucky fin. Although that could be because I didn't know all the ridiculous amounts of things that could go wrong. Now please don't start with the speech of "don't be a worry wart" or "the odds of that happening are ___." I know I know. And I know worrying about it won't help and does me no good. Which is why I am blogging about the topic. Maybe if I can write it all out, read it and see how I sound, I will feel better. Who knows.

What I do know is that with baby #1 I was relaxed and hardly worried about a thing. Pretty much all the standard new mommy things but nothing out of the ordinary. With baby #2, not the same story. I worry all the time! From what I eat to what I breathe in on a day to day basis to how I sleep at night. Its rather ridiculous. I was telling my mother in law the other day how one of my biggest worries is giving birth in the car as we race to the hospital. We now live an hour away and if you read my lucky fins birth story you will know that it was only 5.5 hours from start of labor till he was born and they say your second one is shorter. So here I am, mind wandering and hearing stories of babies being born in the car and ya know what she said? (my mother in law) said, those are the easiest babies to birth cause they are just ready and come right on out! Now that was nice to hear (doesn't stop my worrying) but it takes it down a level for sure!

Another worry is what if this baby has ABS as well but it's worse. What if it's around the head or body of the baby? I'm not sure I'm ready to handle that.. Emotionally or physically. I know there are benefits to having 2 kids with ABS. My older child won't wonder why he is different or be jealous of our second baby. But am I ready for that? And before you tell me the odds I'd just like to say that from the research I have done, my odds are the EXACT SAME. Meaning, it was a crazy thought during my first pregnancy that my child would be born with ABS. I didn't even know what that was! But when people say "oh but the odds of your second child is just out of the world," mmm no it's not. They're the same odds and if it happened once, who's to say it wont happen again?? Right.

Gosh. I could go on and on about all my crazy worries. But all that to say; baby is doing great. I am moving to a high risk doctor to make sure everything is alright concerning the ABS but other than that we are smooth sailing which is nice.

It's definitely much harder being pregnant the second time with an older child. My little lucky fin keeps me running around and on my toes thats for sure! He is a bundle of energy but always smiling and that's one thing I love about him. He can light up a room even when he is driving me crazy! I can't wait to see how he does with his baby brother or sister.

18 weeks along :) 

Have a Blessed Day!