These Are Perfect

So as a mom of a child with ABS you prepare yourself for comments and questions that may be said. You prepare yourself (or so you think) for how you will respond and act in those situations.. Little do you know that it will always catch you off guard.

When jude was first born, you hardly noticed his hands and because I almost always had socks on him, you hardly saw his little toes so no one ever commented on them. Well now that he is getting bigger and older it is becoming more noticeable. I had someone once ask if there was hair wrapped around his fingers... I'm sure she was curious about what happened and just didn't know how to ask but still. I wanted to respond with a "yes, we wrap hair around his fingers for fun" but because I know better I responded nicely. I was able to tell her no that he was born this way and go into detail about ABS. That was one of my first experiences telling someone what happened to my child.

Another time I had someone say that they liked his toes (the ones intact) better because they were perfect. That they liked that foot better because all the toes were there and the other foot wasn't perfect because it was missing toes. Now, this person didn't know any better because they are young but still, as a mom you just want to hug your child and cuddle them and tell them it will be alright. Even when they are so young and don't know any better.

Another thing most people don't think about are the hand and foot prints at the hospital, or anywhere for that matter. Most people take that for granted, having their child's footprint on an ornament or a craft from school or making a hand turkey at Thanksgiving... What about my son? What about his hand turkey?? I know it may sound silly but those things are ideas that cross your mind now.

We got a thing to make an ornament hand print for Jude's first Christmas and I was so excited! I couldn't wait to make his hand print. We even joked about getting 2 since both hands were so different. But when it came down to it, I didn't end up ever making it because it was hard to pick. Do I use his little foot? How about the "perfect" foot? Or maybe his right hand, but then what about the left? We just threw it away because I couldn't decide but again, most people never realize that when they have a child with 10 fingers and toes. Now I'm not saying this to make anyone feel bad! Please, that is not my intention, I am just trying to make people aware of things that cross my mind that parents of children with missing fingers, toes, hands, or full limbs have to think about now. So I don't mean to offend anyone by saying that (:

I know that these situations are just preparing me for all that is about to come. As the mom, to be there for my son when he comes home from school crying because he got made fun of. Or the times we go to the store and people stare because he's not "perfect." Well let me tell you what world, my son is perfect! At least to me he is and that's all that should matter. But it's not. I have my days of weakness when I can't help but blame myself for what happened. Even though there was nothing I could do, it still happens. I have to remind myself constantly that it's alright, that we will raise our son in a way that he will be able to respond to bullying or questions or staring with love. That he won't be mean to kids who ask or to people who look a little too long. I hope that we can raise him where he is proud of his lucky fin and that nothing can stop him. I know that he will do amazing things in this life and that's all I can hope and pray for!

As a parent you always want the best for your child. Well with my son, I want better than the best because I know that he will be able to accomplish anything he puts his mind to. Even if his hands or toes aren't perfect to the world or by anyone else's standards; they are perfect to me!

With that said, I want to share this video of a guitar player who has 1 hand yet is rather good at playing guitar! Click the link below to see his newest song.

http://youtu.be/RvBz6Qtqt-g

One more thing, I just want to have a little shout out to one of the most amazing men I have ever met, David Giddens. He was a close friend/mentor to my husband and he passed away today. Thankfully we were able to visit him before he passed but he is missed dearly. He had an awesome impact on us and will be forever loved. Heaven gained a wonderful angle today. We love you David!

Have a Blessed Day