My Lucky Fin Jude

Where do I even begin?? I found out that we were expecting our first child on March 6, 2013. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that we were going to have a baby! He was not planned but also not prevented (: I made a doctors appointment the next day because I needed to know if the test I took was for real and... It was! It was official. We were going to have a baby! That night we told both sets of our parents, their reactions were priceless to say the least. This was going to be the first grandchild on either side. I was very excited but nervous all at the same time and I had so many questions and fears running through my head. Were we ready? Could I handle being a mom like I always dreamed of? What happens if i miscarry? I could go on and on with all the questions that started to pop into my head but I'll save you the time. My sons father was very happy and was the one who kept me going through the shock the next few days. Once it settled in my head that it was for real, we started telling our friends and everyone was very excited for us! Again, we were the first to get pregnant out of our friends so we were the guinea pigs when it came to everything.

My sons father and I knew that we wanted to try and have the most natural birth as possible so we decided to go with a local birthing center near our home. Because of this, we didn't have many tests done on the baby or sonograms, just tests to hear the heart beat to make sure our baby was going to be ok. At the time though, I was working in a medical office and we had ultrasound techs there so every once in a while they would scan me. Not on the best machines because they were not made for OB but it was still very fun to see my little "goldfish" growing.

I guess now is a good time to tell you that I called my baby goldfish until we knew the gender. I just felt as though calling my baby an "it" was impersonal so goldfish it was! Or squirt (: 

Anyway, back to the story! 

All was going well with my visits to the midwife at the birthing center. The heart beat was always strong and there was never anything wrong. I got an ultrasound done at 18 weeks to find out that we would be having a BOY! Well at 32 weeks along we started having some issues with the birthing center and their staff. I won't go into it because there is no need but we decided that it was not right for us to give birth there anymore. I was terrified at this point but I knew that since all the doors were hypothetically closing on the birthing center there must be a reason. Luckily my mom had found this place called Genesis. They were a branch of a local hospital but yet they had midwives! I was so happy! Not only that but by now (once we got everything settled) I was already 34 weeks along. Anyone who is or was pregnant knows that most places wont take you if you are that far along because you haven't been in their care. Praise Jesus that they were willing to take me in so late in the pregnancy. 

My first appointment comes along and they do an ultrasound on my baby. Keep in mind that I have only had a few not so clear ones so far. Anyway, the ultrasound tech is measuring and not saying a whole lot other than he seems tiny. Are you sure you have the right due date? After she is done she brings in the head hauncho to look over her scans. I'm a little concerned but have been told by the ladies at my work that he was tiny but no worries. Well Mr. Bigwig wants me to get a scan every week to monitor my baby's progress. So I go back the next week and he's still tiny. The same thing happens the week after but they aren't very concerned. My last visit to them was on October 14, 2013 and was scheduled to return on October 25, 2013 to finally meet my midwife! Little did I know that wasn't going to happen.

On October 19, 2013 our precious Jude Graham Spenceley came into this world at 10:58 am. Unfortunately what we didn't know was that he was missing some fingers and toes. When he was born he was the most beautiful little boy I have ever seen but something caught my eye. I turned to my sons father and said "his hands" he responded with "it's on his toes too." They then placed my boy onto my chest and I held him and cried. Cried tears of joy that it was over but also tears of sorrow because my boy was missing some fingers and toes and I had no idea what was going on. My sons father stood by my side and cried with me and held us close. Jude ate and was then cleaned up and in the meantime a pediatric doctor was called in to explain to us what happened. 

According to my mom this was a conversation (for the most part) that went down between her and the doctor who delivered Jude:

Doctor: Did they not know that he was missing fingers and toes?

Mom: No they didn't. Is there someone who can come explain to us what happened?

So we had our family in the delivery room with us at this point all listening to this doctor explain to us that Jude had ABS (Amniotic Band Syndrome). She then went on to tell us that it was going to be ok and she sent in requests for hand and foot surgeons as well as a physical therapist to come see us and tell us further steps to be done. 

I am so grateful that the birthing center did not work out for us. We would have been at a loss and not had anyone to be able to explain to us what was going on. We now knew why we couldn't have the birth like we planned but I was more than ok with how it turned out!

Anyway, the surgeons and therapist came in and told us that he was going to be ok! That nothing needed to be done there but we needed to see them after to discuss what would happen in the following year. The physical therapist made splints for Jude's wrists so help straighten those out but other than that he would be good to go. 

I was relieved but emotions filled our hospital room for the next few days while we were there as well as the next few weeks at home. My sons father and I had been praying for our little goldfish through my entire pregnancy and one of the prayers that was very frequent was that our baby would be healthy and have 10 fingers and 10 toes... This did not happen and that is what hurt the most. I didn't ask for anything else but that and here he was missing fingers and toes. But as I write this he lays next to me wiggling, giggling and although he can't walk yet he is moving like he should be running a marathon! My little man is a miracle and I am so blessed to have him in my life. I wouldn't trade him or his beautiful fingers or toes for anything in this world. I know that he will grow up and do some amazing things for others and I can't wait to see him do it!

___________________________

It is now 2019 and he is a firecracker! He started walking at 10 months old despite the odds of missing toes on one foot and started playing soccer at 18 months old and is insanely good for a 5 year old! His fingers and toes don't and haven't limited him yet and he spreads so much love and joy wherever he goes! We have had several surgeries on both hands and his foot to correct and release bands for more function. As of February this year we got the all clear from Shriners that we do not need to come back in for a year! We are surgery free for a while and I couldn't be happier!