Surgery #3!

So as most of you know, our lucky fin went in on Thursday for his third surgery. This one was for his right hand to separate the ring finger and pinky.

This was taken long time ago but you can see where his fingers are connected. You may or may not be able to tell that the pinky tip isn't very well connected. Well when we went in for our pre-op appointment the Dr. had me sign amputation papers for the tip of his finger because he didn't think he would be able to save it at all. Let me tell you, that was horrible. Signing papers that had the word 'amputation' all over it was awful! Knowing that it would be fine either way and my son wouldn't know the difference but gosh. Rough signature. 

Anyway.

We got there bright and early on Thursday morning since surgery was scheduled for 8 am. This time around was much easier because he could walk. Last time he was only crawling and we couldn't very well put him on the hospital floor to crawl around. But now he could walk and he owned that hospital. He was walking up and down those hallways blowing kisses to anyone that walked by him. It was precious and all the nurses fell in love with him. Who wouldn't?! Plus this time he could have a little bit of juice when he woke up in the morning which seemed to hold him off on his hunger which was a HUGE relief! 

One of the worst parts is right before surgery when he is just screaming and crying because he has been up for hours but hasn't been able to eat anything since the night before. As a mom you have this desire to feed them (as any parent should lol) but you can't so you just sit there and hold them while they scream and cry :( awful. 

So we get up to the surgery holding area and they gave him some sleepy type drugs. Holy cow was that hilarious! He was acting like he was drunk and couldn't walk or sit up. Very funny, we were all giggling at him and dad took a video so we can show his future wife some day! 

Now, while we were waiting they go over all surgery details again and they originally said it would be 1.5 hours but that morning they said only an hour. Awesome! But of course we said take your time and walked out into the waiting room to wait that horrible hour that we had ahead of us. 

We killed time by eating and grad school and Aaron even played some video games and next thing we know the Dr. is walking out. I think to myself that this can't be good. It hasn't been an hour and something was wrong.

**back story**

For whatever reason, this surgery really had me freaked out. I kept thinking something was going to go wrong. I kept praying God would take those thought away and He never did so I thought it was preparation for when something went wrong. So seeing the Dr. come out early was terrifying.  

So not only did the Dr. come out early but he walked right on by me down to where Aaron was playing video games. I thought that it was for sure something horrible. Next thing I hear is the Dr. saying "we're all done!" WHAT?! How could he be done so quickly? Aaron and the Dr. continue to talk so I didn't hear much but they were done and casting him! 

Now remember how I had to sign amputation papers because they didn't think it was possible to keep the tip of his pinky finger? Well he still has it, the Dr. was able to save and properly attach it to his finger! This makes him has 3 fully functional fingers on his right hand now! His Dr, is quite fantastic if I do say so myself! 

After he told us Jude was done we still had to wait to see him. We aren't allowed in until after he is casted and he wakes up from all the medicine. Which always seems to take so long!! But we finally got back there and he was doing great! Much better than last time where his breathing was horrible and it took 2 hours (abnormal) to get out of the recovery room. This time we were there for 20 min or so and moved back down to our hospital room. Once he had some food in him he seemed back to his normal self! Running around the hospital becoming everyones best friend. 

We finally got the clear from the Dr. that we were able to go home in just a few short hours! So nice to be leaving when the sun was still out haha. We got home and he slept most of the time and has been doing great ever since. He has adapted quite well and it doesn't seem to really bother him! He went our with daddy the very next day to get some ice cream and a new toy; so he couldn't be hurting that bad right? ;) 

Now we have 2 weeks to wait for the cast to hopefully come off! I will have more of an update for you then! In the mean time - enjoy some photos of his big day!

In the surgery waiting area. Couldn't resist! That little butt is too cute! 

He was not happy before this so we decided to go for a wagon ride! 

Have A Blessed Day!

Worry Worry Worry

So I am almost half way through this pregnancy; 18 weeks and counting. We will be finding out the gender in 1 week...!!! Needless to say I am quite excited. But with excitement comes worry.

I don't remember worrying this much when I was pregnant with our lucky fin. Although that could be because I didn't know all the ridiculous amounts of things that could go wrong. Now please don't start with the speech of "don't be a worry wart" or "the odds of that happening are ___." I know I know. And I know worrying about it won't help and does me no good. Which is why I am blogging about the topic. Maybe if I can write it all out, read it and see how I sound, I will feel better. Who knows.

What I do know is that with baby #1 I was relaxed and hardly worried about a thing. Pretty much all the standard new mommy things but nothing out of the ordinary. With baby #2, not the same story. I worry all the time! From what I eat to what I breathe in on a day to day basis to how I sleep at night. Its rather ridiculous. I was telling my mother in law the other day how one of my biggest worries is giving birth in the car as we race to the hospital. We now live an hour away and if you read my lucky fins birth story you will know that it was only 5.5 hours from start of labor till he was born and they say your second one is shorter. So here I am, mind wandering and hearing stories of babies being born in the car and ya know what she said? (my mother in law) said, those are the easiest babies to birth cause they are just ready and come right on out! Now that was nice to hear (doesn't stop my worrying) but it takes it down a level for sure!

Another worry is what if this baby has ABS as well but it's worse. What if it's around the head or body of the baby? I'm not sure I'm ready to handle that.. Emotionally or physically. I know there are benefits to having 2 kids with ABS. My older child won't wonder why he is different or be jealous of our second baby. But am I ready for that? And before you tell me the odds I'd just like to say that from the research I have done, my odds are the EXACT SAME. Meaning, it was a crazy thought during my first pregnancy that my child would be born with ABS. I didn't even know what that was! But when people say "oh but the odds of your second child is just out of the world," mmm no it's not. They're the same odds and if it happened once, who's to say it wont happen again?? Right.

Gosh. I could go on and on about all my crazy worries. But all that to say; baby is doing great. I am moving to a high risk doctor to make sure everything is alright concerning the ABS but other than that we are smooth sailing which is nice.

It's definitely much harder being pregnant the second time with an older child. My little lucky fin keeps me running around and on my toes thats for sure! He is a bundle of energy but always smiling and that's one thing I love about him. He can light up a room even when he is driving me crazy! I can't wait to see how he does with his baby brother or sister.

18 weeks along :) 

Have a Blessed Day! 

Big Update!

Wow it has been much too long since my last post! But to be fair we have all been sick with everything from the common cold to the flu to pneumonia. So needless to say I have been busy either taking care of my son or husband or being taken care of by my wonderful hubby. Then on top of all of that we had the craziness of Christmas and New Years which I will say went very well for our family. Nice and relaxing :)

Now on to updates to fill you all in!

1. We found out over the holidays that our lucky fin will become a BIG BROTHER! That's right, we are expecting baby number 2 due in July. We are overwhelmed with joy and can't wait to see how big brother reacts to his little sibling. He does so well with other kids that I'm sure he won't have any problems :) (fingers crossed at least!)

2. Surgery update: (see Finger Surgery for a more detailed summary)

I know it have been a few months since he got his cast off and we have been able to see progress. I was shocked at what an amazing job the doctor did. I don't know why seeing as he does this surgery all the time but still. As a mom I think you prepare for the worst so that if it's not perfect you're ok with it and not disappointed. Needless to say my mind was blown. The surgeon did a fantastic job and Jude seemed to love his new fingers!

3. Cast removal day:

Everyone who ever had a child in a cast warned us that this was going to be traumatic. That he wouldn't handle it well and I would cry and dad would have to be the tough one to hold the little man. Well that was not quite the case. My son. My brave and courageous son didn't even shed a tear! (nor did mom for those who are wondering ;)) Yes, the machine that cuts the cast off freaked him out a little because it was so loud but he didn't even cry and dad didn't have to hold on too tightly so he wouldn't get away. I was very proud of my boy :)

After they took the cast off and removed the gauze they washed and cleaned everything up so we could see what it looked like. At this point Jude was in awe of his new fingers. - Keep in mind he is only 1 at this point. - He kept looking at them, moving and wiggling them (so adorable!) and touching them to see what was going on. It was priceless! That's what brought tears to my eyes.

4. Post cast removal:

This was rough. Again, people told me all their advice and I appreciated it because I knew what to expect. His arm was weak and he was not happy about it at all.

Side note: Jude took his first steps at 11 months but continued to crawl regardless. 

So because his arm was so weak and he was used to crawling with this big ole arm cast on he was getting frustrated. We were also told not to let him use it too much seeing as it would get very sore and painful for him if we did. This was hard and every time he would try to crawl, fall and then just cry on the floor it broke my heart. As a mom, if you are one, I'm sure you can imagine this. I would run over, scoop him up and tell him it was going to be alright. 

Well for those of you that don't know my son is very independent and rarely likes to cuddle or hug and wants to be on his own. So each time I would pick him up and calm him down he would want right back down and we would do it all over again. This process didn't last long because he was determined to learn to walk all the time. This made me very nervous because when we would fall, he would have to catch himself with his arms, one which was still very weak. But I think it's safe to say that because of his weak arm, he did everything in his power not to fall and rarely did! It was rather impressive. 

5. Few months later:

We are now at 3 months after surgery and no more cast and he is doing great! Back to using both hands for everything and has no issues what so ever. We are very happy with how the doctors separated his fingers and now are not as worried for the next surgery! 

6. What's next?:

As of right now his right hand is scheduled for surgery in February but that one will be less extensive and less time in the operating room. For his left hand (the one that was just operated on); he may need more surgeries later on as he grows but for now, we are done with that hand! Yay! 

I have a few pictures for everyone. There are surgery before and after pictures as well as just some other funs ones over the last few months :)

3 months after surgery 

He clearly did not like Santa! 

I just love this one <3 

His new favorite toy that he got for Christmas!

Getting to see his new fingers for the first time! 

Have a Blessed Day!

Finger Surgery

Ok so surgery details and updates!

My little lucky fin had his first hand surgery on Thursday (10/23/14) on his left hand.

This is what it looked like going into surgery. This way you can visualize it as I try to explain all that they worked on. 

As you can see the pointer finger and the pinkie finger both still had bands around the tops. People often question what I mean when I say he still had bands, so here it is. The bands are still technically active due to the fact that as he grows, the bands to not and would eventually amputate the tips of his fingers. At least this is my understanding. So because of this, the bands needed to be cut and released so this would not happen. The doctor went in and did what is called a "Z-stitch" which means exactly what it sounds like, they stitch up his finger in the pattern of a Z. 

Next. The middle finger and ring finger were fused together as you can see above. The doctor split the two and did a Z-stitch on the middle finger as well and tried to make it "less bulbly" as the doc put it as well as removing the little bundle of skin. 

We went in bright and early at 6 am that morning and waiting until 8:50 for him to be taken back for surgery. He was starving and exhausted to say the least but he made it through. The nurse was awesome and came out a few times to give us updates on how he was doing. Each time was a positive report! 

We waited what seemed to be forever and around 10:40 the doctor came out and told us the good news, that he was done and was able to accomplish everything he had wanted! We could see our little man in just a little bit but had to wait for them to cast his hand. 

When we got back there he was not happy :( It's so hard seeing your baby. Your one year old baby hooked up to all sorts of machines, screaming because he's hungry but his throat had a breathing tube down it during surgery so it's all scratchy and dry. It's rough to see. And then when you get to hold him, to finally hold that precious child and he calms down while he eats but still isn't happy... That sucks. They ended up having to give him some more Valium because he wouldn't calm down. Needless to say he slept after that while we tried to get his stats stabilized. That took about 2 hours before we could leave the recovery room and go back down to our room that we were in that morning. Little man seemed to just sleep all day but when he was awake he was happy! It was precious :) Our good friend Joe decided to stop by with some coffee which was great! We spent the rest of the afternoon debating whether or not to stay over night to monitor his stats or not (it was his breathing.) After a lot of deliberation we decided it was safe to go home! We ended up leaving around 4:45 to finally go home! Jude did relatively well his first night with a cast, woke up a few times but went back to sleep. And ever since surgery he has been so cuddly and just wants to be held! So cute and this mommy loves it! 

Since being home we have had some big adjustments. Things people don't warn you about and you don't think about. You think of all the normal things such as pain levels, not being able to use that hand, hitting things with his cast, etc. But what you don't think about is how will he crawl on the tile? Will he hold a bottle? How about holding his food pouches without them falling? Also, the pain meds mess with my baby! I hate giving it to him but how can I not when he just had surgery and is in pain. I'm just gonna say it: having a baby in a cast, sucks. So there it is, although I am SO grateful that he pulled through and he is a strong little boy and will do just fine, as a mom I hate seeing it. I hate knowing that he is only cuddling because he is in pain and doesn't feel well. Things that I can't necessarily control. 

Anyway, I'm done and now onto some pictures from the big day! 

This picture was taken after the extra dose of Valium to help him calm down in the recovery room.

Wagon ride to keep the little man entertained while we wait to go home!

Cuddling with mommy :)

And his cool new camo cast and eating a popsicle to help his throat! 

He will have his cast until November 13 at least and then we will figure out the next surgery for his right hand. 

Have A Blessed Day! 

So much going on!

I hate not having a computer charger! Can't write enough and then I feel like all my posts are so long! So I will do a quick update here and then have another post for surgery :)


As most of you know, Jude turned 1 on the 19th! I was proud of myself and kept it together quite nicely. We had a sports themed birthday party for him and all friends and family were there to celebrate. It was quite nice :) Below are some pictures of his big day! We got a jersey made for him to wear on his birthday and it turned out really well!

We had his birthday at our clubhouse and they put this on the welcome sign! Loved driving up to see this :)

A very uneventful cake smash lol. He seemed to have no interest in the cupcake at all! Oh well, I'll be happy if he isn't a fan of sugary things! 

Showing off his new boots that he got! 

His special jersey :)

We had a blast at his birthday and are so grateful for everyone that was able to come and celebrate with us! Thank you and we can't wait for more birthdays to come! 

Have a Blessed Day

Almost ONE, here we come!

Holy cow time does fly by! I can't believe my little man will be one in a week! ONE! How is this possible? It seems like just last week we were off and running to the hospital because I was in labor. It seems like just yesterday I was holding him for the first time, hearing him cry and needing to be loved and cuddled. Now my little man is off and running! He started walking a few weeks ago and doesn't ever seem to have time to stop moving. As I read back over that it seems about though he is walking consistently but he's not, just a fast crawler and a soon to be runner ;) 

He is progressing like every child around his age too. He can pick things up with no problems, he can walk like I said and nothing stops him. I'm so proud to see him accomplish so much at such a young age! I knew to never put limits on him, simply saying that he wouldn't be able to do something but in the back of my mind I did think that it would take some extra time. I honestly thought that he would be a late walker considering he is missing all toes on one of his feet. He proved me wrong to say the least! I also thought that grabbing toys or something small like a Cheerio would take some extra time as well, yet he has been doing that for months now! I can't wait to see what else he proves me wrong with ;)

Surgery update:

I think I had said in the past that he would hopefully have his hand surgeries when he turned one and we are still hoping for that! We had an appointment at Shriners for the surgeon to take a look and see when it would be possible to start the surgeries and they said they are hoping to get us in on October 23! I had been praying it would be after his first birthday so he wouldn't have a cast and I think that's what will happen! We are still waiting to get the confirmation call but I think that will come this week as well as a pre-op appointment and then surgery will be a week from Thursday! 

Now... I'm going to try and explain what they will do to his hands so hopefully you can follow along :)

They will start with his left hand. See the picture below so you can understand easier what they will do. 

First, there are bands around his pointer and pinkie finger. They will go in and release the bands, this way when he grows, they bands wont grow. Meaning. As he grows and gets older, if the bands are not released they could eventually amputate his finger from the band up. So they will go in and cut the band and create a "Z" stitch which basically looks like Charlie Browns sweater or, a Z :) Next they will go and separate the ring finger and middle finger. There is more than enough skin for them to accomplish this with no problem. After that they will release the band that is wrapped around his middle finger and try to make it less of a bulb. There's a term for it that I can't remember, but his middle finger will always have the bulb as it is part of ABS. But, they will try and make it less so it is easier for him to function. That will all happen within on surgery and then he will be in a full cast called a club cast. This means that the cast will completely cover his hand and fingers and go all the way up to his shoulder. He will be in the cast for roughly 4 weeks while everything heals up. 

Next one

Now to me, I always thought this hand would only need one surgery and if anything his left hand would need more than one but I was wrong. Goes to show how much I actually know! Ha. So his right hand will need to separate surgeries unfortunately. The reason being is that they can only operate on one side of the finger each time so if the hand needs fixing on both sides of the finger it must be separate surgeries. So this one they will separate the pinkie and ring finger, hoping to keep the pinkie tip but there are no guarantees that they can do that depending on how the tip gets the blood flow. He will then be in the same type of cast, they club cast for roughly 4 weeks as well and then go back in, once it is 100% healed for the next step which is just making a cut between his ring finger and middle finger. It is more webbed than we thought and so they will make it less webbed so he can use his fingers better. He will be in the same cast for the same amount of time. 

To say we have a long road ahead is an understatement but we are ready. Having his first surgery on his foot back in the summer really helped prepare me for what is to come. These surgeries will be around 2-2.5 hours so it is much longer than his foot but I think we are ready. Personally, I am ready because I want to see how he grows and functions when his fingers are separated and he can use them better. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. I know he will be amazing and pull through like a champ :)  

Now for some cute pictures over the past few weeks :) 

We took a shopping trip with some friends down to Ikea. Well we had to get quite a few big items and we had 2 kids, 1 stroller and this flat cart. Jude is a little older and so we put him on the cart like this and wheeled him around Ikea. He loved it! 

We went on a bike ride and I happened to grab his rain coat incase it started to rain... Needless to say it did and we got wet. At least I got a cute picture out of it! 

This is one of my favorite pictures. This is our friend Justin sitting with Jude showing him how to throw a basketball and roll a soccer ball. It was captured perfectly! 

Have A Blessed Day :)

One of those days

Today (and the last few days) have been one of those days. You know, the ones that make you mad and jealous and sad all at the same time. I see so many baby pictures and hear stories of other babies and I'm mad my little one is missing fingers and toes. I realize these new parents don't know any better, I'm sure I would do the same but man... It kills me seeing all their pictures of "cute baby toes" or "look at those perfect little baby feet" or the picture where all fingers are wrapped around mom or dads finger. We will never get that with Jude.

*** Disclosure *** 

I love my little man with every fiber of my body and he is perfect and will accomplish anything he sets his mind to!

With that said. As a mom of a child who is missing fingers and toes you can only imagine how hard it is to see brand new, precious newborns, with all ten fingers and ten toes. I sometimes can't help but to be mad and ask why. Why us? Why Jude?

Sometimes I just get so frustrated that I want to punch a hole in the wall or scream. He is growing up so fast and accomplishing so much already but I realized, I wont have to hear him crying and running to me because he slammed fingers in the door. I wont be able to comfort him when he is crying because he can't wear flip flops. We wont have those moments. I realize to most parents those are dreaded moments that they try to keep their kids from but me, I'm going to miss those things. I know it may sound crazy to all of you but until you go through it, until you have a child who is missing fingers and toes (or more) I'm sorry but you wont understand.

I also wonder what he will think if we get pregnant again and our second baby is born with all ten fingers and ten toes. Will Jude be jealous or mad that he doesn't have them? Will the sibling ever tease Jude for his lucky fins? I hope that we raise all of our kids to never tease anyone like that but you know how siblings can be towards each other!

It makes me sad to think about the potential of how kids will treat him when he gets to school. I often wonder how kids will react to him and his precious fingers and toes. I dread the days that he comes home from school, holding back tears because the kids in his class were mean to him. I sometimes think about how I will handle it when he does go to school... Will I talk to the teachers and principle extensively about ABS and how to handle it? Will I maybe talk to his whole class about how he is a little different but that it doesn't mean he can't do all that the other kids can do?

I know that he is only 10 months old and we have a long way to go but as a mommy, you think about your children and what the future holds for your kids quite often.


Anyway, on the bright side Jude now blows kisses and cut his first tooth!! (FINALLY!) He is taking it like a champ and is adorable with his first little snaggle tooth :) He is also trying to stand on his own now which makes me scared cause that could mean walking soon and this mommy isn't ready for that! He is already on the go so much that I'm not sure I'm ready for him to be walking yet! He crawls super fast and gets into lots of trouble at home ;) I love him so much and know he will do great things!


Here are a few pictures taken by a good friend of mine! She and her husband are photographers/videographers. We took the boys out one day and she got some great shots! Check out more of their work here!

http://www.highlightstudios.net/ 

Jude and his buddy Jax

Never leaves without that bunny!

Have A Blessed Day!